For the last month I have been crawling into bed, crawling into the space next to a man who won't be mine in that way much longer. It has been known, I made it known that there needed to be a change. It is still difficult. Almost like being caught mid breath in a nasty wave- because even though the moment has passed your nose still burns. Your eyes still sting, and that awful dizzying feeling where you are not stable and your surroundings are spinning just won't go away.
It's called heartbreak for a reason I guess. But that word doesn't seem to do it justice. It's a grief, a loss a death of a small home and family. He was my family. Over 2000 miles from my nearest kin- it was Him, he was my family and this place my home.
It is all spinning, and I feel the vertigo. And yes, my eyes sting. I cry in the shower, I cry on my walk to work. I ask all sorts of questions to no one in particular and I weep. I grieve.
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