I was drowning, and now I'm learning how to swim.
It's a learning process and I shouldn't measure it all by my failures, what is, what isn't and what I lost.
My eating disorder ruined a lot of things, but I let it. I let it take charge because I was scared and didn't know what to do. Now that I'm in "recovery," I think often of how angry I am at what happend, and why it all happened. How I lost the last 10 years of my life to feeling inadequate and betraying myself. But it's not all anger.
I am thankful for my disorder, and it's role in my life. A lot of things would not have been possible, I got through some difficult and stressful times. And now I'm ready to say, "Thank you, thank you for what you've done and for being my voice when I thought I had none."
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