Introspection

I was left with homework last week after a check-in at the nutritionists'. What do I want? Do I want to be healthy, or even recovered.
I still cringe at the word, I can't imagine ever feeling 100% okay with myself; or conversely 100% okay with my not 100% self. In other words, accepting imperfection. It's been a difficult year, I have said it more than once. I'm not sure when this year is supposed to end.
I live in Seattle, and as much as I may romanticize the weather, it gets lonely. The grey sky, the constant mist all contribute to this loneliness.
I'm in love. I love a man and he loves me back. We endure the Seattle winter (9 months of RAIN) together and have for quite some time. When I was young and idealistic I thought Seattle was just what I needed: liberal, moody, and cool. I think I wanted to be all those things, mostly the last as I was already the first two.
Instead I found out that I was anything but cool, that trying too hard and for so long was going to wear my heart and my body out and that I needed help. I needed someone to care for me in a way of which I was incapable.
Plato suggested that we were created of a whole unit, split in two like a sliced egg. Each searching for it's other half and even once they are paired- still searching, but not sure for what. Maybe we have more than one other part, maybe it takes more than two to be a whole. Well at least it does for me.